So as the title states this is the first time I am backing out of a race. But I can take solace in the fact that it is not a physical issue. In 2 weeks I am scheduled to race the Tri State Tough Mudder. I have been looking forward to this all year. However this will not be happening.
Not to get into too much detail, but through social media I have learned that my ex girlfriend is also running this race. This will not be the first time her and I have been in the same race since we ended our relationship. So it’s not that I can’t handle it. For as large of a city Philly is, it’s running scene is close knit. So I understand these things will happen.
The concern here is the format of the tough mudder. Unlike most runs the participants are encouraged to work together to help complete obstacles. Regardless if you know the person or not it is suggested you make sure your fellow runner completes the course. I do not harbor bad feelings against my ex, but at the same time our relationship did not end well. And she did a lot of things to me that bring up very bad memories. Memories I have worked hard to distance myself from.
So while I am not grinding an axe towards her, I also refuse to put myself in a position where I am forced to help her. I am not saying I wouldn’t provide the help. I’m just saying if I do not have to put myself in that situation I would rather not.
So there it is. The first time I am backing out of a run. I am not worried though. I will put the Tough Mudder on my 2015 schedule. And I have the Philly Half Marathon in less than 2 months. So I will have plenty to keep me busy and active.